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It's not me, it's you.



And on the sixth day, God breathed life into man, and the world went downhill from there. Maya Angelou knew what was up when she said, "When someone shows you who they are, believe them the first time." The colloquial definition of a "red flag" is when a potential partner does something that would warrant a double-take. Often, we will make excuses for the people in our lives because we want to believe that they are what we are looking for, but in reality, people are rarely who we want them to be.

Now, the purpose of this article isn't to point fingers or say that a whole subspecies of Homosapien is at fault. Think of me as your spirit guide to red flags. Some of the following topics may be triggering (mentions of Jordan Belfort to come), but I hope you stick with me and learn something from this, or at the very least, have a laugh. Another thing to remember is the difference between an ick and a red flag. Icks are more niche and specific to the beholder, but red flags are more of a universal concern.

No, The Wolf of Wall Street is not biblical

Don't get me wrong, I love a Martin Scorcese film just as much as the next guy, but if a man has a deep love for The Wolf of Wall Street, run. Yes, there are arguments to be made about the plot of the movie, as well as the cast and cinematography, but if someone sees past that and starts to worship Jordan Belfort, they are crossing into dangerous territory. Sex and drugs aside, the moral compass and ethics of everything that transpires in that movie should be called into question. If a man can compartmentalize enough to set aside the actions in that movie, he should be able to express his emotions, but we all know that's like asking for rain in a drought.

If he doesn't tip, dip

Moving on from their likes, how a potential partner acts says a lot about them and who they are. Pay attention to how they treat others because it reflects directly on what kind of person you're dealing with. If you go to dinner and your date disrespects the waiter or doesn't say please and thank you when getting their food, you should go to the bathroom and sneak out of the window. How someone treats staff, in general, speaks to their upbringing as well. Although people like to disagree, we are a direct product of our parents. Whether that be a good or bad thing, it's a scientifically-proven fact. So unless you want to deal with horrible in-laws and just overall unfortunate people, steer clear from people who don't respect customer service workers.

If he wanted to, he would

Another thing to look out for is their texting habits. When he texts you, there should be a natural flow of conversation throughout the day and consists of both parties equally sharing their thoughts. If he only talks about himself, only texts you at night, and you find yourself waiting hours between texts- block him. If he wanted to, he would. So, if he was truly busy with schoolwork or personal things all day, he could say, "Hey, I'm gonna be busy all day, but I'll text you later to grab sushi." But then again, if men knew how to communicate, all would be right in the world. But most of the time, they will receive texts and go hours without responding just to view your story and text in three group chats. They are showing you that you aren't their top priority, and to be frank if you're not their top priority, then they're seriously missing out.

Saturdays are for therapy

On a more lighthearted note, if the guy you are talking to unironically has a "Saturdays Are for the Boys" flag, he probably doesn't wash his butt. I'm a firm believer in balance, and if a man can't balance having a social life and a romantic life, I'm gone. When people say that they're too busy for a relationship, they really mean that they don't want one. If the President of the United States has time for a wife, so do Chad, Brad, and Justin.



The lesson to be learned from all of this is to try not getting caught up in puppy love or looking past all of the signs the universe is giving you, especially when a partner messes up. When a potential partner exhibits concerning behavior, take a step back and wonder if it's just a fluke or if it says something deeper about them. If you find that it doesn't define them, proceed with slight caution, but if instead, it does, recede and move on to the next finance bro that will be more than happy to talk to you about stocks in bed.


With Love From,

Lily Ellis ;)

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